SERMON RATINGS

Thanks to David Curtis

A preacher by the name of Wilbur Reese once preached a message in which he presented a listener's guide to sermons. Reese stated that sermons ought to be rated in much the same way that movies were rated.

"G" sermons are messages that are generally acceptable to everyone, they contain phrases such as "Go ye into all the world and smile" or "What the world needs is peace, motherhood, and fewer taxes." Sermons such as these are often greeted with the response "Oh wasn't that marvelous?", or "That was simply wonderful." Every one loves a good "G" message, and they will never offend anyone. There are some people who would refuse to listen to a message that wasn't rated "G"

"PG" sermons are for more mature congregations, and they have mild suggestions for change, but they're subtle enough to allow the preacher to back peddle and change his meaning if he finds that he has inadvertently offended someone. An example of a brilliant "PG" statement would be, "The either/or of the existential situation provides a plethora of alternatives, both specific and non-specific. When one grasps the eschatological aspect of incarnationial Christology." You know that someone has preached a message like this when people walk away in wonderment shaking their heads and saying things like, "That was deep, most thought provoking." Of course if you've done a "PG" sermon really well, nobody actually knows what you said, but nobody is willing to admit it.

Then there are the "R" rated sermons; this is when the Preacher tells it like it is. These usually indicate that the pastor has an outside source of income and a fairly healthy self image. Sermons like these are usually followed by comments such as, "Disturbing or controversial." These sermons definitely aren't intended for everyone, only for those who wish to be challenged in their spiritual walk.

And then there are the "X-rated" sermons. These are the explosive ideas of the kind that got the prophet Amos run out of town, and Jeremiah thrown into the well; that is Jeremiah the prophet not Jeremiah the Bullfrog. When you preach an "X-rated" sermon", you preach them with your suitcase packed and the moving van ready. Comments range from, "Shocking and disgraceful" to "Being in poor taste".